Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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