Whod you bang
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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