That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
