My underwear smells like fireworks.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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