big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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