My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
