All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have feelings that need drinking.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
