wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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