After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
