When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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