And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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