"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
