Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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