When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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