k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
