I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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