i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
