I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
