She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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