Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
