your thong is hanging out like whoa
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
