he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
ttyl tear gas
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
