Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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