Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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