And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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