Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
