I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
