Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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