I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
