thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
