Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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