while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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