It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
