I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
