are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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