Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
