I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
