No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize