ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
