i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
