when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
