Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
