Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
