my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize