Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I AM VODKA MAN
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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