the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
