Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
"it" just moved
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
