why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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