you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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