We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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