But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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