trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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