Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
