"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
