Who did Billy Mays play for?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
