What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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